(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
