i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
