you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
