he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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