i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My butt remains clenched, sir.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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