I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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