Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
