I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
