I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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