I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
