I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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