Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
