Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
