if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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