Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
