can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
How does one acquire holy water?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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