i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
being pregnant is like rehab
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
