Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
as a side note pls kill me
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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