Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
This baby is an asshole
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
