You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
