you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
