She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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