he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
