he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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