I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
