This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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