Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
