If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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