I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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