I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I can text with my tongue
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
