i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
