I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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