i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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