Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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