new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
