I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
