Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
