She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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