Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
