Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize