If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
