If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
