Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
