What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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