If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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