I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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