yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
