I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
