That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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