I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
