3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
