5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
