And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
