i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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