we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
